Expectations
are the things set before us that we are obligated and supposed to follow. We
can create them ourselves, manufacturing what we've observed together with what
we believe...BUT should we lack that within us, no worry--there's never a shortage of what people think we "should" do.
Words
create and reveal new expectations.
"Nah,
we don't need to go out, we can just hang at my house!" On planning a
date. The erosion of traditional courtship is basically a eulogy in this suggestion.
(And, don't get me wrong, I love chilling! But, let me dress up, show you off,
and let you do the same for me, first!)
"You're
getting better at it!" - On kissing. Here we get a comparison to someone
else and an assessment of who we are--all by one cutting phrase.
"You
don't like her, right?" On answering to friends on the assessment of
another. Morphology, syntax, and organization suddenly build social structures
in the flesh of reality before us.
Words
themselves almost have an expectation of not meaning much. Plans can be made
over text and then never translate to knowing real life, whether it's like
verbal plans that never come to fruition or slipping out, like a needle out of
fabric. But, secondary methods of communication have changed how accountable we
are to sticking to our plans. We can make plans, and then if they don't work
out on our end, there's the option to simply quit replying in order to avoid
giving the explanation of why it won't work out, especially if it's
embarrassing or if it's no longer something we want to do. Following through
(keeping a calendar date, showing up, engaging in whatever you said you would,
thereby honoring your commitment) is a way of validating words. Here's where we
get, "Actions speak louder than words," illustrating that expectation
of words is not exclusive to language. Rather, words' true definitions are
linked to action.
In
advertisements and academics, studies mix words and numbers to tell us where we
"are." I've come to take statistics about my demographic with a grain
of salt; not for their accuracy, but of how they capture and project me. I have
enough sense of self not to yield to probabilities, whether they are true or
simply make a primitive road for me to begin traveling on as I come to believe
it. The numbers do represent people, and such numerology and symbols often
reduce minds and life to ink we only read over once. Not statistic has power
over me. I have power of me.
How many
Tweets have you seen where a guy wants one thing in a girl and you see that in
yourself...and then a guy right under him says the complete opposite and you
start to view yourself through that lens? How many Tweets from girls who say
they're one thing, you identify, then see another, and come back at yourself
from a different position? Words silently call us to one and chastise the
behavior of the other, instantly making it clear that if we act with option
two, we are the undesirable option and no longer living up to the expectation.
Question:
What's the opposite of words?
Silence?
What
expectations does silence bring?
The first
I think of is the "silence means consent." We often hear this phrase
in relation to the "guilt" in sexual assault. But, to give consent,
you are passing something over to another to agree, right? In agreeing to sex,
saying something with a group about someone else (like verbally having someone
sign your signature on a Declaration of Gossip), entering into a
relationship...here's a place where we need words, for everyone to know their
definition, and that the power and place of words would be recognized. In the
first example, it's where we need words by themselves to convey our meaning at
full power when our actions suddenly find themselves with no power. In refuting
a position we were placed in, here is where we need action to prove *our*
words. And though it's a wondrous glory of how word and actions intermix to
place us in romance, we need that archaic act of saying, "This is a
relationship - I'm yours and you are mine."
Behold,
this is the creation of new expectations in our world of words.
