#IncomingFreshmanAdvice

This was my absolute favorite year EVER. 

Enjoy EVERY minute of it! 

From walking with your posse to forging new friendships at the beginning of every semester’s new classes, everyone is so much more sociable than pop culture makes it seem. This is the only time you’re all ever on the same level, figuring out the physical and invisible high school infrastructure together. You’ve got all the options before you: in relationships, career choices, classes, colleges. It’s the best of both worlds as you can safely explore your independence while having everything else taken care of. What I wouldn’t give to be back in that place where my optimism was full and every possibility inspired me to major in 10 subjects and be ASB President. (I still hold the original seed to that positivity—it just takes the watering of energy and conscious choice to keep it flourishing today :)  

Be in touch with what piques your interest in your classes—this is the best college, major, and career choices come from!

Have fun traveling through groups, meeting new people, and forming your own circle. You will meet SO many people!

Embrace your school spirit and go to football games! This was my freshman year regret; thus, I turned that around my sophomore year and was glad I didn’t wait any longer to start coming. 

Savor the thrill in every new experience, from your first pep rally to those football games that make you swell with school spirit. Having grown-up in private school, I’ve gotta tell you my favorite part of switching to public school—and public high school, at that—was all the guys. I didn’t need any romantic connection, or even talk to them, for that matter, to appreciate the exponential growth from 20 boys in my grade to possibilities at every tier. I relished every walk whenever I could through those hallways (;

Ahh, the guys. Isn’t this where the warning about older guys comes in? It’s valid, I concede, for sure. No, as the past five years roll through my mind, absolutely it is and I see why it always accompanies this point. But, it’s exciting and flattering and frankly, a boost to your ego when you can nab someone older than you. The truth behind those warnings that no one says—“He’ll pressure you,” is a common one—is that older guys will want sex. It’s the worry that we’ll almost be run over and unable to stop him or keep ourselves from yielding to sex and whatever other activities that have been brought with his age. Yes, it is accurate to say older guys want sex—but, all* guys want sex. I mark that “all” with an asterisk, because that’s a generalization that can be disproven. I’ve found exceptions in my own life. My high school boyfriend was a junior when I was a freshman, and even though we didn’t meet until the next year, that age difference still existed and those warnings of “older guys” continued on, too. I guess I never saw it as a problem; mentally, the guys two years older than me where closer to where I was. But, anyways, if I wanted sex, I could’ve gotten it, but I didn’t and I told him that from the time boundaries came up in our conversation. 

And he still met my parents.

And he still wanted to date me.

Regardless of your stance on boundaries, a good guy is one who will respect even the disagreeable elements in you; one who will sacrifice for you, because that’s where true love finds its foundation. Don’t be dispensable! You are never too young to respect for yourself and stand for nothing less. And I suppose a better piece of advice is don’t see yourself as dispensable. You’re not just like “every other girl” who can offer what “every other girl” does. No, there’s an infinite combination of things that compose you that no one can replicate. 

My advice on freshman year dating is have fun! Be smart and be safe (<--It’s one of those things you tell people, and you know they know it, but you only feel right in yourself if you know you made sure and told them.) Trust your gut and intuition; if someone gives you a creeper vibe, don’t abandon it—listen to it and act accordingly, no matter if you’re friends make you feel stupid or tell you there’s nothing to worry about (I can attest to this every weekend when I go out with my friends…and my constantly turning head, mace, and taser). I shake my head and always remember I have a family to get back to and life to move forward in. I won’t let anyone’s comments make me feel stupid and compromise my safety. I cannot advocate self-defense education enough; I took a course help fulfill my PE requirement for high school/college and it was the best class I’ve taken in my educational career. Never take a drink you didn’t pour yourself, whether it’s at a party or after turning you back at a restaurant! 

Freshman year is the time when everyone is the most forgiving in forgetting mistakes and erasing embarrassing moments…for the most part. Getting your private life found out (viral hook-up news or enough to give you a reputation) is a branding and will be the one continual uphill climb; honestly, it’s more like a vertical climb, where you look straight up and you’re told, “Climb.” I believe the possibilities in all things, but I wouldn’t put stock in people’s perceptions of what I want. I say this because I don’t believe the “slut” label is one you can get off of other people’s view. I wish no one would be cruel and realize there’s a human being behind every whisper and enlightening look. But, we graduated last spring and when we see girls from our HS class on Facebook, that distinction is still present as certain “she’s” come up in the newsfeed or search suggestion. For this, I encourage you to go in with your eyes wide open where it concerns your conduct in realizing the full severity of getting physically intimate with someone else and “penalty” of this social conduct code that is everyone else’s judgment, from having “text sex,” sending almost or fully naked pictures or videos, even video chats (there is Skype chatting recording software now) to in person kisses, hugs, and everything that takes you to sex.  

On another point on the social spectrum, you do meet a lot of new people, and the transfer of middle school friends to high school has been the focus of many middle grade and YA books. It’s sad when people you used to know change and everything with them becomes past tense. Thank goodness high school is so large that you will find your people; I couldn’t believe it actually happened so naturally and that it did, period! It can take trial and error or marrying individuals from different groups. A lot of new friends come from classes, people you recognize at lunch, meet at orientation, neighbors who ride your bus, or like individuals in extracurriculars.  

And, if your middle school crew make the transition successfully, yay! And hopefully you still forge new friendships with people from feeder middle schools. 

If I had to describe freshman year simply, it would be “thrilling.” There are highs and lows; great things and awful things; thrills and falls. It just depends on what you design your path to look like and what inserts itself on the route there. Take risks—it’s not too far to fall yet. Seriously, I mean it when I say embrace and savor each episode of laughter, infatuation, and success. Freshman year is feeding off the energy of the caravan you now find yourself rising amongst. It’s only the beginning! (: